Children Are Our Future

Expect to see this story in a lot of places this week. NBC News is reporting, seriously (via Wonkette):

NASA to Bomb the Moon Friday

Ah-mare-i-ka, Ah-mare-i-ka, God shed his grace on thee...

Readers will no doubt immediately think of the famous Mr. Show sketch, "Blow up the moon," in which Bob and David satirize America's tendency to, ah, how do I say this...blow things up. Well, folks, the time is now!

The actual goal of this hilarious mission is to get water or something for terrorist astronauts we're sending to Mars because they're toooo dangerous to detain here on Earth. That's my guess, anyway.

What I find particularly engaging about the story is that if you click the link above, you'll see that the website has a side bar asking readers to register their responses to the article. As of this blog's non-existent deadline, here's how the numbers break down.

36% Furious (Don't those fucks hold anything sacred?!)
25% Intrigued (Let's see where this goes)
17% Thrilled (About goddamn time, for fuck's sake!)
13% Laughing (The world has gone MAD! MAD I tell you!)
7% Sad (I kinda liked that ol' dog-eared moon)
1% Bored (Seen it!)

Really, who is bored by a story about bombing the goddamn moon!? What in god's name do you want from a newspaper headline?

"Martians Land, Sleep With Letterman's Staff, Bomb NYC, and Legalize All Forms Of Drugs, Especially New and Awesome Drugs From Their Home Planet"

BORING!

Let me just say one final thing that someone should've told the moon a loooong time ago: So long, asshole!