Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Perfection

I have a new blog up at True/Slant today, but that's not what the title of this post refers to. I'm referring to a paragraph, via Wikipedia, in which Dock Ellis describes pitching his no-hitter while high on LSD. I DEFY anyone to read this passage and not laugh.

"I can only remember bits and pieces of the game. I was psyched. I had a feeling of euphoria. I was zeroed in on the (catcher's) glove, but I didn't hit the glove too much. I remember hitting a couple of batters and the bases were loaded two or three times. The ball was small sometimes, the ball was large sometimes, sometimes I saw the catcher, sometimes I didn't. Sometimes I tried to stare the hitter down and throw while I was looking at him. I chewed my gum until it turned to powder. I started having a crazy idea in the fourth inning that Richard Nixon was the home plate umpire, and once I thought I was pitching a baseball to Jimi Hendrix, who to me was holding a guitar and swinging it over the plate. They say I had about three to four fielding chances. I remember diving out of the way of a ball I thought was a line drive. I jumped, but the ball wasn't hit hard and never reached me."

Oh god that's funny.

4 comments:

Jason Crane said...

The book that Donald Hall and Dock Ellis wrote together, Dock Ellis in the Country of Baseball, is brilliant. If you like this paragraph, you'll love the rest.

John Knefel said...

Thanks for the heads up, Jason. I think I may have to get that.

Ed Murray said...

WIN.

Kathryn said...

Here's a nice visualization of the whole event: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vUhSYLRw14

I also particularly enjoyed the top-rated comment on the video.