Thursday, April 24, 2008

When You're Right...

Today Slate's homepage features what must be one of the most drastically understated headlines in this primary cycle. It reads, "Black Voters Will Not Be Happy if Obama is Denied the Nomination." I should say not. The article, by Michael C. Dawson, which is well worth reading, is here.

The thesis of the piece is that if superdelegates decided the outcome of this race in the mystical "smoke filled room" and give it to Clinton, when the popular vote and pledged delegate count are in clear favor of Obama, African Americans will rightly feel marginalized, dispirited, and angry. Dawson's prediction is that the

"already worrying statistic of 79 percent of blacks who believe that racial equality for blacks will either not be achieved in their lifetime or at all in the U.S. will jump to an even larger percentage..."

It's difficult to imagine anything other than that result is superdelegates hand the nomination to Clinton.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Floor Drops Out, Country Lands in Cage Match

Yesterday, President Bush appeared on NBC's ode to low expectations, Deal or No Deal. Yes, he did. Yes. Seriously. He did. He did. Yes, yes, he...yes...yes, he did.

Coincidentally--or, if you are cynical, you believed this was only a matter of time--the 3 main presidential candidates appeared on Monday Night Raw last night. That's right, folks. In one night, you could be lucky enough to watch Bush appear via-satellite to joke about his low approval ratings, and then hear McCain utter the truly disheartening word "McCain-iac!" in reference to those simple/evil enough to vote for him.

It was a great night for American politics, nay, American History, nay, all of the Greater North American Landmass. Mexico, Canada, you're welcome.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

"And who should walk in, but..."

Last night was really one of those great New York comedy nights. I started down in the LES and saw a show at Pianos, then hopped up to Karma in the East Village with John F. O'Donnell, and saw John Oliver do a set. John Oliver is absolutely fantastic to watch. He appears effortlessly charming, and when you hear his material, you can see why he's on The Daily Show. He is smart, challenging, and spot-on politically.

After that, me and JFOD went over to the Gene Frankel Theater(re?) for the Jerk Practice show. The lobby is lined with pictures of Gene Frankel, who looks a lot like God. Frankel is a somewhat famous stage director who, judging from the pictures, takes himself very seriously. I assume that he and James Lipton having coffee together would be a serious hoot.

Then we left to head up to UCB for Gut Bucket. On the way we walked past Comedy Village, and someone outside said that Dave Chappelle was onstage. We ducked in, and sure enough, Chappelle was up there, smoking a cigarette and reading the paper.

So me and Johnny are hanging out in back, and who should walk in the door but Chevy Chase. He and his family go sit in back, but as he's about to sit down, he yells out "I have herpes." The thing is, no one knows it's Chevy Chase, including Chappelle. So he's a little bit confused, and again Chase says, "I have herpes." So Chappelle doesn't know exactly what's going on. Then someone in the crowd yells "it's Chevy Chase," and Chappelle says, "yeah sure." Then he kind of squints, recognizes Chase, and loses his shit. "Oh my god! Chevy fucking Chase is here!" "I'm here for you Dave," Chase responds. Now, the audience goes nuts. Everyone is clapping and going crazy. After a minute or so, Chase goes up on stage and shakes Chappelle's hand, and they just hang out for a minute.

Chappelle does about 25 more minutes or so. When he's about to get off, the manager walks up and whispers something in his ear. Chappelle says, "ladies and gentlemen, Chevy Chase." So Chase went up and just talked for a few minutes. Me and Johnny had to leave to go up to UCB, so we couldn't see much of Chase's set.

Then Gut Bucket was a blast, and I went home and fell asleep.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Hedge Funds are Great!

Here's a new piece I wrote for Read it, and bow before the awesome power of the hedge.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Jesus Patraeus to Congress: Why Stop Now?

Gen. David [Jesus] Patraeus addressed Congress today and said, in effect, "Look, you know nothing's gonna change here. What do you want me to say?" The whole event feels like a formality that no one is interested in, but no one feels comfortable canceling. It's like you broke up with your girlfriend but still took her to prom the next day.
"Look, we both know how we feel. Nothing's gonna change..."

Apparently there were some protesters in the back. Not sure if they were those lovable code pinkers or not. I'm all for disrupting this congressional nonsense, but I have to think that protesting right now has gotta feel even more like a lost cause than usual, which is really saying something.