Monday, February 26, 2007

Neal Boortz: Batshit Crazy

Wait...what's that...what's that smell? It's kind of, I don't know, it smells like...oh, I remember, that's the smell of batshit crazy. That's right. I thought maybe it was something else, but no, it's just batshit crazy. Here's the source.

It's Neal Boortz, right-wing scream-o-phile and radio show host. In this clip, Mr. Boortz makes the astonishing claim that the Teacher's Union is more dangerous than Al-Queda with a nuclear weapon. Let's all take a deep breath and then continue.

Was that enough time? Okay, keep scratching your head. I am. So, let's see here. The Teacher's more dangerous...than Al-Queda. Hang on.

Ohhh, sweet whiskey. You make it all go away.

Okay. Now, I'm not one to champion the fear-mongering that goes on in the media about how dangerous Al-Queda is. Whatever it was before 9/11, whatever it was immediately after, and whatever it is now is impossible for the average citizen to know. That "Al-Queda" serves as an invisible enemy against whom we can wage unending war should give anyone cause for suspicion about what the organization actually is, and what they are actually capable of. That said, I'm pretty sure that "Al-Queda" with a nuclear weapon is scarrier (I live in NY) than the TEACHER'S UNION, of which several of my friends are members.

Why would a person with the capacity for rational thought turn his back so resoundingly on the basic tenets of logic and run screaming into the forest of pure delusion? For that I have no answer, but that is how I've heard an acid trip described. And it's hard to tell, but I think I can see a sort of existentialist despair in Boortz's eyes as he claws desperately for some semblence of grounding, a common symptom of drug-induced extrasensory phenomena.

Maybe the fumes of the batshit crazy he spread all over himself cut off the oxygen to his brain. Or maybe, just maybe, he got paid a lot of money to go on TV and say hateful, dispicable things. And if it is the second option, let me say this: Fox News, call me, because I think hospital volunteers secretly carry Bird Flu, and we must shotgun their brains out like the advancing zombie menace they are.