Tuesday, November 18, 2008

After Budget Meeting, MTA Introduces New Hand-powered Locomotive




You know how one of the best parts of the city is the fact that drunken driving is never an issue? Because of the wonderful subway system! It's great. The train is really one of the best things about this great/foul metropolis. Yeah, it sucks when it's late and you're waiting for 20 or 30 minutes, and it sucks during rush hour, but all things considered it's absolutely wonderful. But then there's this, from WCBSTV

The MTA reportedly is ready to make deep cuts in its budget that could lead to reduced service, layoffs and more crowded trains. Sources tell CBS 2 the association board is preparing a worst case "Doomsday" scenario that will be presented during its monthly meeting on Thursday.

Goddammit.

During the Thursday meeting, The MTA is expected to: completely do away with the "W" line, which runs from Queens to Manhattan, and the "Z" line, which runs through Queens, Brooklyn and Manhattan. Also on the chopping block: service will be cut in half on the "G" line, which runs from Queens to Brooklyn; and the "M" line, which runs through Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Queens.

Sonofabitch.

The bad news may get even worse. In an effort to close an estimated $1.2 billion budget deficit, there may also be longer gaps between overnight stops on all trains and fewer trains during the late morning and early afternoon hours.

Come on! We all knew this was coming, but the idea of the L train being more crowded in the morning is unbearable. And the G only runs like 3 times a night anyway. That $8 a day they'll save by cutting back on the fancy "G!" train is really gonna add up. Get out your bikes, kids.

Other ideas for headlines for this post:
MTA Debuts Controversial "We'll Throw You in Front of Train" Offer
MTA "Doomsday" Plan Sounds Happier Than it Is
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the MTA

And because things that happen in other countries are funny, here is this delightful video of commuters that you might have already seen. Say hello to your future.

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