Obama to Keep Enemies Closer

It looks like Hillary Clinton is indeed going to be our new Secretary of State, or as she calls it, Flight Attendant of State, because secretary is sexist. For a while it looked like her evil husband Bill Clinton would do what he does best and ruin her life, but maybe not.

We all know that Clinton still wants to be Prezident more than anyone else on the planet. How will this position affect her political future? Well, according to infallible wikipedia,

Six Secretaries of State became presidents (Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, James Monroe, John Quincy Adams, Martin Van Buren and James Buchanan)

So, there's that. But all those guys are a million years old, so who knows. Fun Fact Friday Fact number 2:

and four won Nobel Peace Prizes (Frank Kellogg, Cordell Hull, George Marshall and Henry Kissinger).

Hillary Clinton will never win the Nobel Peace Prize, though, because she tried to get white racists to vote for her instead of the magical Hawaiian. The closest she will get is "West Virginia's Chili Cookoff Lady of the Year," which is very competitive, but we have confidence in her.