As we wrote about here, the MTA has no money and you fat-asses will soon have to crawl to work because you're too fat to walk and too hungry from poverty to run. It will be a very confusing time for you fatties.
The only good news all day is that someone's finally taking some action to shut down the subway and save this city some money. It's al-Queda! The AP is reporting that there is a "plausible but unsubstantiated" report that some lousy terrorists want to blow up our bed bug infested subway.
We haven't heard one of these reports in a while, but it's still hard to take these things seriously after the way they were thrown around for the past 8 years. That said, if anything happens, this post never existed. Got it?