Thursday, December 11, 2008

Blaggy's Wife a Bit of a Bitch (with Mad Libs)

Rod Blagojevich will soon be in jail for the rest of his life, and after reading this NY Times article on his wife, that might not be such a bad thing. It's like that scene in Goodfellas when Ray Liotta assures Lorraine Bracco that the only reason some gangster went to jail was to get away from his wife. You're preaching to the choir, buddy. Women! Are we right, folks?

Here's the delightfully euphamistic quote from the Times:

In the 76-page federal complaint, Ms. Blagojevich appears to be an influential and demanding partner to her husband’s schemes to trade the Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama for money-making or politically aggrandizing opportunities.

We suppose they can't come out and write, "Ms. Blagohevich appears to be a real nagging bitch and partner to her husbands schemes...." Too harsh? Why the name calling, ComedyandPolitics, you say? We want evidence, you say? Get a load of this, from a few paragraphs down:

And, in a blast of vulgar language, Ms. Blagojevich eggs on her husband when he reportedly threatens to prevent the Tribune Company from selling the Chicago Cubs and Wrigley Field unless The Chicago Tribune fired editorial writers who had called for the governor’s impeachment. Ms. Blagojevich is quoted in the complaint as saying that the state should “hold up that [expletive] Cubs [expletive] ... [expletive] them.”

"Influential and demanding" indeed. Now we're going to play a fun and vulgar game called "Fill in the Expletive the Times Left Out Because They're Dicks."

What we think it is: "hold up that [fucking] Cubs [shit]... [fuck] them."

What it definitely is not: "hold up that [shitballing] Cubs [assplay]... [queef] them."

What we wish it were because scatological humor is great: "hold up that [poopy-pants] Cubs [fart]... [Then you should pee on] them."

Please add your own in comments. Here is a scene from Goodfellas that Rahm Emmanuel will show on Jan. 21st and say, "you fuck with me, this is what happens."

1 comment:

Cubs Fan said...

"hold up that [pederasting] Cubs [pile of rotting scumbags]... [rectally violate] them."