Gawker is suggesting a formal retirement of the word douchebag, and we here at ComedyandPolitics agree that that's a good idea. We are essentially a poor man's Gawker/Wonkette anyway (very poor man's), so why not jump on this bandwagon. Do yourself a favor and read the comment section in the above link. It is very funny.
As far as our recommendations go for what should replace it, we're unsure. Ideally, a new word would appear organically and just fit. Trying to shoehorn a new phrase into your everyday vocabulary is quite annoying, and in general that's something only a you-know-what would do. That said, expect to see the following words around here a bit more:
Dipshit (or Dip Shit) (Nope, nevermind. As 2 words that is disgusting. One word only.)- An oldie but a goodie that was suggested to us as a replacement for dbag some time ago. We like it, and at Comedy Free Williamsburg we once said, "You heard it here first, dipshit is the new douchebag."
Assclown- Makes an appearance in a joke of ours, so it has a special place in this blog's heart.
Asshat- The impossibility alone renders this word combination hilarious.
Bag- Removing the douche, or "d," from the phrase in question and leaving only "bag" might create a new word worth using, eg, "That guy standing in line for that club looks like a bag." Or, "Put down that Axe body spray, you smell like a bag." (Yes, everyone loves that smell but you cannot deny that it is the smell of a bag.) One thing that "bag" has going for it is its vagueness. Is that ex-banker a bag of shit? A bag of assholes? It also conjures up memories of the fantastic Louis CK bit about a guy telling him to, "suck a bag of dicks." We would google that bit and link to it, but, you know....HR policies. That's a hard google search to explain.
Dick- Simple can be more than sufficient. "That personal trainer who keeps buying drinks for my girlfriend is a fucking dick." Simple, to the point, almost classy, even.
Please leave suggestions in comments, and we'll work them into every single post about Rick Warren that we ever write. That guy is a total bag.