Tuesday, December 9, 2008

These Dudes for Surgeon General

Everybody knows that all college kids abuse Ritalin and Adderall, but since only rich kids can afford higher education now, no one is that worried about this phenomenon. Kids being kids, they say. Or maybe there is a huge outcry for this to stop; we don't know.

None of that changes the fact that the dudes who published this paper (pdf) in Nature are awesome [hat tip to Jesse]. They argument is this: "Hey, have you guys done these fucking drugs?! They're great! I wrote this whole paper is 15 minutes! Who has some cigarettes for me?" Here it is in their own third paragraph:

In this article, we propose actions that will
help society accept the benefits of enhancement,
given appropriate research and evolved
regulation. Prescription drugs are regulated as
such not for their enhancing properties but primarily
for considerations of safety and potential
abuse. Still, cognitive enhancement has much
to offer individuals and society, and a proper
societal response will involve making enhancements
available while managing their risks.

If they get their way, we will all become Captain America-like super-humans capable of focusing on things for more than 3 minutes at a time. We will also turn into workaholic robots even more than we already are.

That is the most terrifying thing we've ever seen. It sounds like they're going to break your arms and legs and put in extensions.

Here is Craig Finn and his Hold Steadys asking you to ask your friend for some Adderall, because they are druggy rock and rollers. Best line of the song:

"If she asks just tell her that we're too far gone to deal. She should know exactly how that feels..."

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