Thursday, December 18, 2008

Minnesota Recount Refuses to Get Less Funny

Lots of big news coming out of Minnesota today. Nate Silver, the only man in your life other than your father you should ever trust, has been following some of the recount news over at his website FiveThirtyEight, and it just keeps getting better.

You all remember the Lizard People, but do you want to know who else has made an appearance?

That's right suckers, BRETT FARVE! He is probably a lizard person.

Al Franken and Norm Coleman are LITERALLY fighting for every single vote, so their lawyers (who are adults) have to stand in front of a canvassing board (which is comprised of adults) and argue whether or not to count the ballot of a jackass who voted for both Norm Coleman and Jet's quarterback Brett Farve. The judge decided to count that ballot for Coleman, but the real loser was Democracy, and Brett Farve. Also, "Democracy and Brett Farve" sounds like the greatest college course ever.

Now for the reason we're all here, the vote for lizard people. That ballot came before the board today, and they decided to reverse their decision to count it for Franken, which made him cry scaly lizard tears (he's one of them too).

You are probably thinking to yourself, "well, that was fun, but all the happy news is over now." Well, you're wrong and maybe you should just calm down a little and not get so ahead of yourself.

The last funny ballot news is that someone wrote "-stin" at the end of Al Franken's name, thereby attempting to re-christen him "Al Frankenstein," which is awesome. Sadly, they failed, and re-christened him "Al Frankenstin," which is stupid. That vote was counted for Mr. Frankenstein (Al Franken), which gives us an idea. If you can "write in" any goofballery you want after a candidate's name, the prospects are limitless. It would have made voting for John Kerry way easier if we could've written "sucks" after his name. [via Wonkette]

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