Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Georgia Dem. Mysteriously Fails to Capture Racist White Vote

Georgia Douchebag Saxby Chambliss, a man whose name alone should get him a Dubuque neck-forking, defeated Democratic challenger Jim Martin, a bunch of idiots are reporting. That's Martin pictured above, with Ludacris, T.I., and Young Jeezy, all of whom campaigned for him. Although Martin lost, we can all be sure that his failure party was way more ballin' than Saxby's victory party, which was just him groping his granddaughter and his wife filming him dribbling out some pee on a picture of triple amputee Max Cleland.

What does this mean for you, the common bean eater? It means your precious Democrats can't override filibusters, so all hope is lost. Without the magic number 60, the Senate can't grant Barack Obama his 3 wishes for anyting in the world (except a wish for infinite wishes) and Princess Michelle will never be saved from the castle. Which is all to say: this country will be brought to it's knees by a man named Saxby. Shudder.

Over in Minnesota, Al Franken still hasn't given up hope. Boy Wonder Nate Silver keeps changing his mind about how many dozens of votes Franken will win or lose by, but now he says maybe he'll win. Other than your own flesh-and-blood father, Nate Silver is the only man in your life worth listening to, so pay attention over the next few weeks. This recount is far from over because God hates us.

Neck fork!

1 comment:

Breukellen said...

I've already read an explanation which blames Obama for not campaigning for Martin. He calls Obama selfish and cynical. Of course, the author voted for Nader.