Tuesday, December 16, 2008

What Happens When Dick Cheney Crosses His Legs Too Fast

("Press Sec.'s Face Now Metaphor for Bush Administration" was our first headline, but we just had to go and ruin everything with a blowjob joke, didn't we? Don't pretend that you didn't smile. Ok, to the story.)

Professional mediocre liar Dana Perino took a microphone to the face during that Austin Powers reenactment the other day, but it's hard to feel bad for her because she is an awful awful human being. Now, since she is a woman, she will surf the Internet all day to make herself feel better and if any men or women try to sleep with her she'll beat them bloody with a sharpened microphone.

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